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ויעקב שמע כי טמא את דינה בתו ובניו היו את מקנהו בשדה והחריש יעקב עד באם

Now Yaakov heard that he had defiled his daughter Dinah, while his sons were with his cattle in the field; so Yaakov kept silent until their arrival. (34:5)

There were no cellphones in those days, so Yaakov Avinu had to wait until his sons arrived home before he could tell them of the outrage that had taken place. Abarbanel explains that the Patriarch waited for his sons, because he was not going to make a decision without first consulting them. Their input was important to him. Horav Yaakov Meir Shechter, Shlita, explains that including mature children in decision making is good parenting. In fact, this is specifically how one should relate to his children. This is especially true under circumstances in which one is compelled to point out…

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וישא את עיניו וירא את הנשים ואת הילדים ויאמר מי אלה לך ויאמר הילדים אשר חנן אלקים את עבדיך

He raised his eyes and saw the women and children, and he asked, “Who are these to you?” he answered, “The children whom G-d has graciously given your servant.” (33:5)

Eisav took one look at the women and children and asked Yaakov Avinu, “Who are these to you?” Yaakov replied that the children were graciously bestowed to him by the Almighty. We assume that, upon seeing the group of women and children, Eisav questioned Yaakov concerning both the women and children. Yaakov, however, only replied concerning the children. He seems to have ignored the wives. The Malbim explains that Yaakov was conveying to Eisav an important aspect of his outlook on life, which was altogether different than that of Eisav. To Eisav, a wife was a goal within itself. He…

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ויאמר לא יעקב יאמר עוד שמך כי אם ישראל כי שרית עם אלקים ועם אנשים ותוכל

He said, “No longer will it be said that your name is Yaakov, but Yisrael, for you have striven with the Divine and with man and have overcome.” (32:29)

Yaakov/Yisrael are two names, each with unique implications. The name Yaakov heralds back to the birth of the Patriarch, v’yado ochezes b’akeiv Eisav, “his hand grasping on the heel of Eisav” (Bereishis 25:26). Yaakov Avinu emerged into this world holding onto the heel of his brother Eisav. This clearly does not imply strength or assertiveness. Later, at the convincing of his mother, Rivkah Imeinu, he appropriated the b’rachos, blessings, from Eisav, under what appears to be in less than a forthright manner. Eisav declared, Hachi kara shemo Yaakov vayaakveini zeh paamayim, “Is it because his name was called Yaakov that…

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ורוח תשימו בין עדר ובין עדר

And leave a space between drove and drove. (32:17)

The Midrash Rabbah quotes a poignant request made by Yaakov Avinu of Hashem: “Yaakov said to HaKodesh Baruch Hu, ‘Ribbono Shel Olam! If adversity/troubles/pain will (be decreed) to come upon my children, please do not send them one following (immediately) after another; but rather, leave (a) space between them!’ This is to be implied from the word revach, ‘space’ between the flocks of sheep.” Horav Yaakov Galinsky, Shlita, wonders what is the meaning of “space” between troubles? How does space make a difference? The Maggid quotes an explanation which he heard from the Steipler Gaon, zl, given during a group…

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