The above pasuk is chilling –describing tragedy upon tragedy. A young woman ostensibly raised in a refined, hallowed Torah home goes off the derech, acting out her rebellion with acts of moral turpitude. How does such a moral collapse occur – especially in such a family? If I may use my writer’s license, I suggest a homiletic rendering of this pasuk/incident. Several questions surface upon reading the text. First, why does the Torah state that she desecrates her father? It is the sacred institution of Kehunah that she profanes. She is dragging the Priesthood through the mud – not her father. It is almost as if the Torah is personalizing the disgrace.
Second: Most children are products of parents – a father and a mother. Why is the mother’s role not considered a factor in her daughter’s behavior? Where is she during the narrative of her daughter’s fall to disgrace? If she saw her daughter becoming spiritually and morally unraveled, why did she not speak up? Third, and probably the most troubling: How does a girl from such a distinguished and principled home plummet to the nadir of depravity?
I think the answer lies hidden in the word avihah, her father. The Torah is not merely identifying a daughter who saw it all. She knew where this was going. She acted in a manner almost frightening in its simplicity. The daughter was acutely aware and understanding of her father’s failings. She was also not clueless to her mother’s ineptitude and inability to act. She was no fool. Thus, she could have climbed out of the mess and made a normal, even successful, life for herself. Instead, she transformed her victimhood into an excuse, using it as a reason to live a morally profligate life. Who could blame her? She nebech grew up in a dysfunctional home. She was very clever, utilizing her victimhood as a license to commit evil. She deserves her punishment. Rather than transform her life for the better, she became complicit in her family’s spiritual ruin.
We now must ask ourselves: How many such implosions are occurring under our watchful eyes? How many children take advantage of their parents’ dysfunction to ruin their own lives? How many families could we have helped? How many can we still help? Nothing is as powerful in the world of Torah chinuch as authenticity. Children see a lot more than they reveal. How they use the knowledge they garner determines what kind of adult they will become.
So many lessons may be derived from this homiletic rendering of the bas Kohen incident. Since it is homiletic, the lessons derived are the author’s. Children are sensitive to inconsistency. Weakness can be overlooked; hypocrisy, however, can never be accepted. Yes, some parents struggle, but, as long as they are willing to fight the trend and better themselves, children will respect them. Duplicity is not striving; it is weakness at its nadir.
Likewise, children may not take advantage of a sordid situation at home. They can acknowledge their parents’ weakness without converting it into license to do whatever they want. Awareness of a situation creates responsibility as well as opportunity. Smart children will take advantage of this awareness and use it as a springboard for future growth. Scheming children will sadly jump on the opportunity to act as they wish. They will use their wounds as an escape hatch to live an unrestricted and uncommitted life. It will be a case of pathetic parents who lock their children into a pathetic, frightening future scenario.
