We wonder why the Torah chooses to write yaarichun, they will lengthen, rather than aarich, I will lengthen. It is as if the Torah were saying that, by honoring your parents, you cause your children to lengthen your life. Horav Chaim Meir, zl, m’Vishnitz, answered this question after first relating an incident in which three sons/brothers sought his advice concerning their aged father’s care. Apparently, they felt it was difficult for them, and the question on the table was: Do they continue with home care with its various difficulties, or move him to a nursing home? The Rebbe (Imrei Chaim) told them, “Come to my Shalosh Seudos Tish”(and you will receive my answer). They did not understand the Rebbe’s response, but one does not question; one listens and follows instructions.
The Rebbe’s Tish (festive table during which chassidim congregate with their Rebbe to sing, listen to divrei Torah; it is a time for spiritual elevation) commenced with the usual large crowd of followers. It was during the Tish that the Rebbe presented the question concerning who it was that was generating the added longevity. Hashem is the One Who gives life; therefore, it should have said, L’maan yaarich, “He will lengthen.”
We can draw a distinction between two sons/approaches toward caring for an elderly parent. The first is the son who, when “presented” with the opportunity to attend personally to his father’s (mother’s) needs, he does so with a smile, with love, with respect, understanding the privilege he is being accorded. He worries about their health and does everything to alleviate anything that impedes the quality of their lives. Such a son truly extends his parent’s life. Thus, when this son himself becomes aged and infirm, his children will act in accordance with the manner that he, by example, taught them. The other son, who is more concerned with his personal goals, his yerushah, inheritance, and any excuse he can conjure to free himself of his duty, will see his self-absorbed, selfish behavior mimicked by his own children. The message the Rebbe conveyed was clear. They, by their positive actions, were setting the tone for their children to lengthen their days, as they did for their own father.
Perhaps we may add an observation concerning the Torah’s choice of wording. One would have expected the Torah to say, yirbu yamecha, that your days may be increased, implying a longer life. Yet it says, yaarichun, that your days may be lengthened. The distinction is profound. To increase one’s days speaks of quantity – more time, more years. To lengthen one’s days, however, speaks of quality – the kind of days one lives. It suggests that a person who honors his parents does not merely receive additional days; he receives expanded days – days filled with content, purpose, and blessing.
When a child shows gratitude and reverence toward those who gave him life, his own life becomes more vibrant. The act of honoring parents deepens one’s appreciation for the gift of time itself. Each moment becomes extended with meaning. Even ordinary days take on a richness that others may never experience.
The Torah is teaching us that longevity is not measured by the calendar, but by content; not by how long we live, but by how deeply we live. A person may live many years, yet accomplish little; another may live fewer years, yet his life radiates depth, purpose, and connection. L’maan yaarichun yamecha promises that honoring one’s parents transforms the time we are given into time that truly matters.
