The Torah assures us that serving Hashem is not beyond our reach. It is neither reserved for the saintly, nor is it attainable only by those endowed with extraordinary spiritual gifts. It is “very near.” The capacity to serve Hashem resides within every Jew, embedded in his very essence. It is in his mouth and in his heart.
Horav Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg, zl, explains that every Jew possesses an innate desire to cleave to Hashem. This yearning is part of his spiritual DNA. If so, why do so many struggle in their avodas Hashem? Why does serving Hashem often appear difficult, distant, and beyond reach?
The Rosh Yeshivah explains that life’s challenges and disappointments often obscure a person’s inner spiritual aspirations. The pressures of earning a livelihood, the pain of personal setbacks, and the endless distractions that accompany daily living create a thick cloud that conceals the soul’s natural longing for Hashem. One begins to believe that spirituality is foreign to him, that holiness belongs to others.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Dark clouds may hide a powerful beam of sunlight, but the sun itself has not diminished. It continues to shine with the same intensity as before. Likewise, the Jewish soul remains pure and vibrant, regardless of the obstacles that surround it. The yearning to serve Hashem never disappears; it merely lies dormant beneath layers of concealment.
Then suddenly, “out of the blue,” a moment of truth appears: a challenge, an inspiration, a personal crisis, or an encounter with spiritual greatness. Then, a crack in the clouds appears – and grows larger until they are totally parted. In an instant, the dormant soul, having been concealed beneath a layer of spiritual dross, begins to awaken. The individual, who had heretofore been so distant from religion, discovers within himself reservoirs of faith, courage and devotion of which he was unaware. Indeed, no one is more surprised than he by his own capacity for sacrifice and spiritual growth.
This is because, as the Torah reminds us: Ki karov eilecha ha’davar me’od. It has been present all the time waiting for such a moment. Do not search in distant places for what already lies within you. The power to grow, the power to change and draw close to Hashem, is not something one must acquire. It has always been present, waiting to be revealed. The spark is waiting dormantly for the winds of inspiration to fan it into a blazing flame.
Rav Weinberg relates the story of a chasid who came before the Kotzker Rebbe, zl, and poured out his heart. He complained that his mind and heart were filled with questions and perplexities concerning Hashem’s hanhagah, the way He conducts His world. Why should the wicked often get away scot-free, while the righteous are often subject to serious travail. This is a question that has plagued the greatest minds from time immemorial. The ones who are deeply committed place the question on the back burner, knowing full well that the answer to some questions are beyond the scope of the limited human mind. Those whose faith is determined by what they are able to understand have deep issues. This chasid was perturbed to the point that he felt his questions were undermining his ability to serve Hashem.
The Rebbe’s reply was classic Kotzk, “Nu, so what?” (Why become so preoccupied with these matters? Just continue serving Hashem, and the doubts will disappear.)
The chasid countered, “But Rebbe, I am unable to pray. The thoughts come and disturb me.”
“If so,” said the Rebbe, “do not daven. Learn instead.”
“But, Rebbe, I am likewise unable to learn. The doubts plague me constantly to the point that I am unable even to put on tefillin.”
The Rebbe responded, “So you will not put on tefillin.”
“Rebbe, if I do not pray, and I do not learn, and I do not even put on tefillin, what kind of life is that?”
“If this is the case, that without davening, learning and putting on tefillin, your life is meaningless, then you are indeed a maamin, truly faithful!”
The thrust of the story is: the chasid kept focusing on his doubts, while the Rebbe attempted to redirect him to action. Only when the chasid came to the realization that a life without avodas Hashem, serving the Almighty, is no life, that he himself can grasp the answer. The doubts are not the central focus – living as a Jew is. Once he realizes that, the light will shine, and the doubts will no longer plague him.
