I was reading through the ninety-eight curses which comprise the Tochachah, and I could not help but wonder what kind of actions would warrant such severe punishment. One would assume that only the most egregious sins deserve such horrible consequences. Probably the most frightening aspect is that these punishments have all been realized. Throughout our long exile, we have been subjected to countless pogroms and blood libels. These have taken their toll on us physically and emotionally. We have been brutally slaughtered, gassed and burned alive, and expelled from our homes. We have witnessed the decimation of our communities. We have had our children torn from us and have endured suffering that defies human comprehension.
Yet, despite everything, we are still here – vibrant, growing in Torah and mitzvos. The very fulfillment of the Tochachah’s dire predictions serves as testimony of the Torah’s Divine Authorship. Equally remarkable is that, alongside the Torah’s warnings of punishment, is its assurance that Hashem will never utterly reject us. It was that promise that gave us hope and succor to hold our heads up high and depart from adversity – knowing that one day it will all end, and we will be reinstated. Nations far mightier than we, even our oppressors, are all extinct, disappearing into the annals of history. Klal Yisrael continues to live, learn Torah and serve Hashem. One would only have to attend an Adirei HaTorah event, representing one institution, and feel proud and inspired by how far we have progressed in eighty years. Our survival is not a historical phenomenon – it is pure Hashgachah Pratis, Divine Providence, a tribute to the eternal covenant between Hashem and His People.
As I sat here contemplating the Tochacha, I arrived at a startling realization. A punishment exists even worse than the ninety-eight curses. I once had a student in whom I invested an extraordinary amount of time, patience, love and effort. I gave of myself to him as I had to few others. He grew in Torah and mitzvos, and he seemed to be progressing beautifully. Then, one day, he informed me that he was finished. “No more,” he said. He was done with learning and done with frumkeit.
At first, I responded with mild punishments. When he ignored them, I issued more severe consequences. I hoped that somehow he would recognize the direction in which he was heading and reverse course. Nothing worked. Finally, frustrated and exhausted, unable to think of anything else to do, I told him, “Goodbye. We are done.”
His reaction stunned me. He broke down completely. Through uncontrollable tears, he cried, “How can you do this to me? You are all I have. Why are you giving up on me?”
His words made their mark. I felt as if he had pierced my heart. In that moment, it dawned on me that, indeed, something is worse than any punishment: No punishment at all.
As long as a teacher/parent/rebbe punishes a child, a relationship still exists. He may experience disappointment, pain, frustration, and even anger, but not rejection. Punishment indicates that someone still cares enough to expect more. The opposite of love is not punishment; it is indifference. The most devastating message one can convey is not, “You have failed me,” but rather, “You no longer matter to me.”
Perhaps this is one of the deeper lessons of the Tochachah. As terrifying as the curses are, they are all evidence that Hashem has not abandoned us. The rebuke is painful precisely because the relationship remains alive. A father disciplines only the child whom he still calls his own. Every punishment contained in the Tochachah is accompanied by an unspoken declaration: “You are still My people. I still care. I still expect more from you.”
Bringing this idea home, I realized that, if Hashem does not give up on us, who are we to give up on His children? Boruch Hashem, my relationship with my student has continued as he flourished and returned as a complete ben Torah.
The ninety-eight curses are truly frightening. Yet, concealed within them is one of the Torah’s most comforting messages. As long as Hashem rebukes us, guides us and makes demands on us, we know that the “light is still on.” He has not rejected us. The Tochachah is not a declaration of the end of a relationship, but rather, a testament to the verity that the relationship endures – and will continue to endure. Indeed, that alone is the greatest “blessing” of the Tochachah.
