Rashi translates va’yichad Yisro as va’yismach Yisro, as rejoicing over the salvation of Am Yisrael. The Brisker Rav, zl (cited by Horav Eliyahu Baruch Finkel, zl) explains Yisro’s b’rachah as a blessing of gomeil, gratitude to Hashem. We would normally think that the person who recites the blessing is none other than the direct beneficiary of Hashem’s favor. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 219:4), however, rules that one can fulfill his obligation to bless through the medium of his fellow’s blessing. This means that “Reuven” can bentch gomeil for “Shimon,” and Shimon will have properly discharged his religious duty to bless.
Rama adds that this applies even if the person who recites the blessing had not himself been obligated to bless. Since he is basically offering his gratitude to Hashem over his friend’s salvation, his blessing fulfills the obligation. Taz adds that this applies under such circumstances in which the fellow actually rejoices over his friend’s salvation. If, however, no relationship exists between them, and he recites the blessing as a friendly gesture, it does not discharge his friend’s obligation; another b’rachah should be recited. Thus, the word va’yichad, and (Yisro) rejoiced, is very apropos. He truly felt joyous that the Jewish people were spared from Pharaoh. As such, his blessing was appropriate.
Rav Eliyahu Baruch notes that the word va’yichad can be understood as a derivative of chad, one. Yisro felt a oneness with Klal Yisrael. Thus, his joy was genuine, sincere and reflective of his kinship to the Jewish people. He was with them in their agony and sorrow and, likewise, shared their joy and elation. Thus, he had every right to recite the blessing of ha’gomeil.
Feeling another person’s pain – truly, genuinely feeling it – is no simple matter. Many kind and sensitive people express compassion, offer comfort and show concern. Yet, commiseration alone does not mean that one has actually entered into the other’s suffering. Genuine empathy requires more than a caring heart and an expression of emotion. It demands an abnegation of self.
Genuine empathy is the willingness to blur – no – to erase – the line between “me” and “you” – to sense that your anguish touches the very core of my being. My “selfhood” must not stand as a barrier that separates me from you. Your pain is my pain, your struggle; is my struggle your joy is my joy — even if I am not in a joyous mood, or if your joy conflicts with my personal pain.
The Rebbetzin of Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach, zl, predeceased him. Their fabled marriage was a lesson in sholom bayis and the respect and admiration one should manifest for a spouse. Rav Shlomo Zalmen was in the hospital because his beloved Rebbetzin, his companion in life, with whom he had raised a generation of gedolei Yisrael, had just passed away. One of his students (he was Rosh Yeshivah of Yeshivah Kol Torah), totally unaware that his revered Rebbe had just been left bereft of his wife, met him in the hospital corridor. The student’s wife had just given birth to a child, and the joy on the young man’s face was palpable. He ran over to his Rebbe and cried out, “I just had a baby (boy (girl)!”
The aged Rosh Yeshivah and poseik ha’dor gave him a big smile and an enthusiastic, “Mazel Tov!” During his moment of pain, he was able to put his own sorrow on hold, because the young man needed a mazel tov! Now! He would not permit his personal anguish to put a damper on his student’s joy. His simcha warranted his Rebbe’s blessing, and he would receive it. Some exceptional people do not live for themselves, but rather, they live focusing on the needs and feelings of others.
