We can understand saying Viduy, confessing one’s own sins, but why must we repent for the sins of our parents? We have a hard enough time dealing with our own issues – let alone those of our forebears. Horav Chaim Zaitchik, zl, explains that this reasoning would be justified in the event that we were not to be responsible for the sins of our parents. However, when our actions, cause our parents to sin, it is an entirely different story.
Children, young and old, make excessive demands on their parents which can lead to parents doing things which are inappropriate, just to satisfy their children’s desires. We live in what is being called the “I want it now” generation, in which selfish children – often made so by their parents’ constant acquiescing to their demands – are forcing their parents into racking up huge debts, so that they not fall out of grace. Parents say “yes,” because we think that it will make life easier for us, but in fact, we are only creating greater problems for the future.
By deferring to children’s demands, we are guilty of creating a generation of young people who are oblivious to the needs of others, whose narcissistic tendencies increase every time they get what they want. This sense of entitlement does not bode well for their future as adults.
When children demand and demand, they ultimately wear down their parents. It is to the point that they consent to things which they know are wrong, and goes against everything in which they believe. The pressure is simply too much to bear.
The consequences are unfortunate, with children becoming increasingly spoiled and parents going out of their way to make them happy – even to the extent of resorting to “arrangements” that lack ethicality. Children who manifest this attitude/behavior become responsible for their parents’ sins. There will be a day of reckoning when these children, who will become adults, will be called on the carpet for the misdeeds of their parents. The children did not care about the pressures and imposition they placed on their parents, as they caused them to cater to their selfish wants and whims.
So why are the parents blamed? Their children pushed them to the limit. We must remember that the children were not born selfish. The parents were seeking an easier life, one in which they maintained a friendly relationship with their children. Unfortunately, they created a monster – a generation of children who are blind to another person’s needs and who view hard work as an anathema. Nevertheless, it is neither entirely the children’s fault, nor the parents’. It is best that both share in the confession – as well as the blame.
