Rashi explains that the word va’tiskas, “and she covered herself,” is the hispael form of the word kasoh, to cover. It is the reflexive form, indicating the future, third person, feminine. The word therefore means, “and she covered herself,” with the object stated in the word itself. This is as if it were to read, va’techas es atzmah. Rashi compares it to two other words: va’tikaver, “and she was buried” (Ibid. 35:8), a reference to Devorah, Rivkah Imeinu’s nursemaid; and va’tishaver, “and it was broken,” in Shmuel I 4:18. While these two are not in the hispael tense, they are all passive verbs, indicating that it occurred to the individual. It was not a vigorous activity. The commentators wonder why Rashi specifically chose these two examples of passive action.
The minhag, custom, at Chassidic weddings is to have someone – usually employing gramman, rhyme – give mussar, reproof and introspection, to the chassan, shortly before the chupah. Horav Avraham Yaakov, zl, the first Admor of Sadigur, told his son, who later became the Pachad Yitzchak, zl, of Boyan, the following words of introspection before his chuppah: “Your future father-in-law, Horav Aharon, zl, m’Karlin, wonders why we do not have the custom to sing mussar/gramman to the chassan before his chupah. Let me explain: When Rivkah Imeinu saw Yitzchak Avinu for the first time, the Torah says that she reacted reflexively, covering her face with her veil. Rashi cites two other places where the word reflects a passive verb occurring to the individual such as, va’tikaver and va’tishaver. Why did Rashi choose these words? Are there no other examples in Tanach?
“Let me explain. There are three moments in a person’s life during which a tumult/commotion is made concerning him: At birth, at death, and when he marries. The two extremes – birth and death – are moments when he is the center of attention, but he is unaware. He knows nothing; thus, he cannot feel any emotion that might turn his head. Only at one’s wedding is the person aware and there is the possibility that one might become haughty, with all the attention being paid to him. This is Rashi’s message: When a person merits the moment of matrimony, his reaction should be passive as we find by va’tikaver – and she was buried, a reference to death and va’tishaver, and it was broken, a reference to birth, since a mashber is a birthing stool, a word related to va’tishaver. Rashi’s message should sufficiently impact the chassan. While this all may be about him, it should not go to his head. He should act like a spectator.”
