Rashi explains that Hashem enjoined Bnei Yisrael‘s first “leadership” to guide them gently and patiently. The Midrash is more explicit in demanding forbearance from Bnei Yisrael’s leadership. Regardless of the people’s reluctance to obey, even if they respond to their leaders with animosity and impudence, the leaders must, nonetheless, patiently accept their behavior. Community service is demanding and may become demeaning. It can literally destroy a lesser individual. One who cannot maintain his composure in stressful situations is not qualified for a position of community leadership.
Horav Shlomo Wolbe, Shlita, emphasizes that patience and forbearance are necessary attributes for anyone who is involved in community service — be it teaching, Rabbinics, community service or congregational work. He cites the following practical application relating to the field of education. Prior to being accepted to a certain school, a student is examined to ascertain whether he is suitable for the institution. From the time of the student’s acceptance, the true Torah educator assumes the responsibility to care for this student, to support him through various situations. This applies even if the student were to do something wrong. How shameful it is that there exists an arrogance among educators to expel a student for an offense which is not in keeping with the dictates of the school! In some instances, expulsion from school is tantamount to a spiritual death sentence.
Horav Wolbe admonishes educators to be cognizant of the words of Horav Yitzchak Blazer, z.l., who stated that even a robber has a Shulchan Aruch, It is forbidden to punish him beyond the requirements of the code of Jewish law! Not every infraction of school rules warrants expulsion. A Torah educator must emulate the attributes of Hashem. He should be compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, kind and affable, as well as forgiving and merciful.
The ideas stated in this thesis may be adapted to the home, which serves as the family’s mini-community. In their leadership role, the parents are charged with raising their children to follow in the path of Hashem. This can only be effected in a home in which pleasant, open communication pervades. The effect of strict disciplinary measures is ephemeral. Nothing erodes the natural heartfelt relationship between parents and children like fear. Through an educative process based on gentleness, patience, understanding and, above all, siyata dishmaya, parents will merit to have Torah nachas from their children.
