Eliezer set out on his journey to find a suitable wife for Yitzchak. His trust in Hashem was so strong that he implored Him to give him a clear sign indicating the worthy girl. No sooner had he completed his request of Hashem than Rivkah entered the scene and demonstrated the very sign that Eliezer had asked of Hashem. Secure in his belief that she was the right girl, Eliezer did not ask to discuss her family background. Rather, he proceeded to bestow upon her the jewelry that had been set aside for Yitzchak’s kallah. Only afterwards did Eliezer question Rivkah regarding her family heritage.
Rashi observes that Eliezer related the story of meeting Rivkah when he came to meet her family. He, however, reversed the sequence of his actions. He told them that he inquired about her family background prior to giving her the jewelry. Rashi explains the reason for the disparity between what actually happened and how Eliezer related it to Rivkah’s family. Rashi comments that Rivkah’s family would have questioned the notion of giving a strange girl jewelry without even inquiring about her family. They would not have understood the deep trust in Hashem that Eliezer had displayed — he blindly accepted that Rivkah was the right bride for Yitzchak.
Eliezer demonstrated simple faith. He had asked Hashem for a sign from Heaven, and his confidence was so pronounced that the girl who passed the test was unquestionably the right one. An individual with bitachon, trust, in Hashem would certainly have appreciated Eliezer’s actions. Although Rivkah’s family believed in the Almighty, they were not as deeply committed as Eliezer was. Therefore, they were unable to understand/appreciate his actions.
Horav A.H. Leibowitz, Shlita, infers a valuable lesson concerning interpersonal communications from the Rashi on this pasuk. We tend to measure others by our own spiritual standards. Eliezer realized that the members of Rivkah’s family were not sufficiently developed on a spiritual level to recognize the element of Divine guidance in his initial encounter with Rivkah. Consequently, he could not expect them to appreciate his actions. Their failure to comprehend his actions would have compelled them to label his story as false and to dismiss his actions as irrational. He, therefore, modified his story to suit their level of “belief.”
We must be cognizant whom we are addressing, recognizing each individual’s level of maturity, understanding and proficiency. Once we know with whom we are speaking, we must now determine how to speak to them. Sensitive communication is necessary in any type of relationship, be it between husband and wife, parents and children, teachers and students, or teachers and parents. To be understood and appreciated, we must be open and sympathetic to the perspective of our partners, not just our own. Just as Eliezer was accepted as a result of his perceptiveness, we, too, should hone our communication skills in our relationship with others.
