Moshe Rabbeinu points out to Klal Yisrael that, throughout the nation’s hazardous journey through the Wilderness, they were all under Hashem’s protection. He led them at every step of the way. Hashem is compared to a loving father carrying his child in his embrace – a simile which conveys a sense of care, protection and guidance – which, in effect, is the way we should relate to Hashem at all times. This concept speaks to the comforting belief that we are never alone. Not only is someone always looking out for us, but that someone is Hashem, and He has a Divine plan for us.
Furthermore, the analogy of Hashem as a father bespeaks the abiding love a father develops for a child – a love that is unconditional and boundless. It is a love that accepts us for who we are, faults and all. Being carried in a father’s embrace provides a sense of security, as well as comfort. Hashem’s Presence in our lives offers a sense of reassurance during moments of uncertainty when we are between the proverbial rock and hard place. Our relationship with Hashem is personal – like a child to a father. We place our trust in our Heavenly Father and believe in His Divine Providence.
Horav Sholom Bentzion Felman, zl, notes that in the Tefillas HaDerech, wayfarer’s prayer, we say, She’Tolicheinu l’shalom, that You should emplace/position our steps in peace – as opposed to She’eilech l’shalom, that I will go to peace. Apparently, the text of the tefillah underscores that each and every step that we take is Divinely-guided. How often do we leave for a trip with a geographic destination in mind, thinking that we are in control and we decide where and when we stop? Thus, Chazal chose to remind us that Hashem is our navigator and He determines where and when we stop and go. We pray that He grant us siyata d’Shmaya, Divine assistance, to reach our destination safely and successfully.
In his Sichos, ethical discourses, the Chafetz Chaim observes that man is like an infant in his crib. He thinks that he is in charge, that he can do whatever he wants, when, in fact, it is his mother who does it all. She picks him up, moves him around, turns him over, etc.
One caveat that should not be ignored: B’derech she’adam rotzeh leilech molichin oso; “The path that a person chooses to follow, they bring him” (Makkos 10b). This applies even if the path a person chooses for himself is counter-intuitive to his spiritual growth. If this is what he wants, so be it. Hashem will see to it that he is able to follow the path of his choice. Some people are so deeply committed to maintaining an elevated level of spiritual sanctity that Hashem protects them from any form of digression, because He is assisting them in adhering to the path that they chose. The following vignette concerning the Chafetz Chaim underscores this idea (related by Horav Aharon Leib Shteinman, zl).
The bridges that traversed the roadways in Poland had a large cross prominently attached to them. Out of a sense of homage and gratitude, gentiles would bow their heads when they passed these symbols. The Jews, of course, remained ramrod straight, not in any way suggesting their deference to another religion. The Chafetz Chaim once traveled from Radin by wagon. In the course of the journey, he began to doze off. Every few moments, his head would bend over, and he immediately raised it – as is common when a person is dozing off. The Chafetz Chaim was not the only passenger on the wagon. Another Jew, who was traveling in the same direction, shared the seat with the sage. As they were about to come up to a cross, the man was in a quandary. The Chafetz Chaim’s head was bent over to the point that anyone peering into the wagon could presume that the Chafetz Chaim was bowing to the cross. He felt that waking the sage was disrespectful, but, if people saw what appeared to him paying allegiance to the symbol of Christianity, it would cause greater disrespect. Suddenly, as they approached the cross, the Chafetz Chaim’s head became erect. When they passed the cross, his head returned to its bowed position. All this took place while he continued to sleep – and it went on for the duration of the trip. This was a clear indication that knowing which path the Chafetz Chaim chose to follow, Hashem protected him from digressing even unintentionally.
If I had to select one venue in which Hashem’s interface with our lives and in which bashert, designated, would be revealed for all to see, it would be the area of shidduchim, marriage matches. Everyone has a shidduch story – whether it involves him personally or a friend or family member. I chose this one because it sounds so providential. Cameras no longer use film; rather, they use a memory card (or, at least, they used to), which saves all the images. It can be removed and replaced with a fresh memory card when the memory is full. A Yerushalmi family went for a bein hazmanim, intercession, tiyul, vacation trip. One son who was off from yeshivah for a few weeks was in charge of recording the trip on film, and he did, taking hundreds of photographs of every aspect of the family trip. Sadly, the youngest child, a little boy, mistakenly allowed the memory card to fall out of the camera. The error was not discovered until the family returned home. They returned to the last place they visited, but they could not find the memory card.
Understandably, the son who had spent so much time capturing the family’s trip on film was upset. His sister, who was two years out of seminary (twentyish), said, “Why get angry? It was a mistake, and your being upset will not alter the outcome, so forget about it and move on.”
A few days passed, and the father received a call from a bachur who studied in Yeshivas Mir. He happened to visit the area where they had last been and found the lost memory card. He put it into his camera, and, after reviewing the pictures, he noticed a shot of their home and its address. So, he called. The father was excited. He offered to meet the young man at the Mir the next morning. They met, and the father was bowled over by the young man’s manner of speech, his common sense and yiraas Shomayim.
He said, “I know this suggestion is unusual, but I have a lovely daughter whom I feel would be a perfect match for you.” Nu. The bachur spoke to rebbe, who said, “Why not?” The rest is wonderful history. They met and liked one another. Today, they are married and parents of a beautiful family – all because a yeshivah bachur took the time to peruse hundreds of pictures in search of the owner’s identity. So, we think. Actually, it was Hashem in His role of matchmaker that choreographed this shidduch.
