The halachah regarding reciting a brachah over two fruits that are not from the seven species of fruit with which Eretz Yisrael is blessed is clear: One first makes the brachah upon the fruit which one likes more. What if he likes one more, but the second fruit has more therapeutic value, more vitamins in it? Horav Avigdor HaLevi Nebentzhal, Shlita, contends that the fruit which is qualitatively better for the person is the one that takes precedence in regard to the blessing. The source for this halachah can be derived from Moshe Rabbeinu’s dialogue with Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven. They said that prior to leaving for the battle for Eretz Yisrael, they first wanted to provide for their sheep and their children. In his response, Moshe Rabbeinu emphasized their responsibility to their children as a priority before their obligation to their sheep. Parnassah, earning a livelihood, is certainly important, but it does not take precedence over one’s own children.
Furthermore, as Horav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler, z.l., writes in his Michtav m’Eliyahu, the concern they had regarding their sheep was not a simple monetary one. No! Their Avodas Hashem, service to the Almighty, their Kiddush Shem Shomayim, sanctification of the Name of Heaven, was through the medium of their sheep. They were willing to forego living in Eretz Yisrael because they felt that it was difficult to raise sheep in Eretz Yisrael. Sheep need to graze. In a populated area such as Eretz Yisrael, it was inevitable that they would graze in areas that did not belong to them. In Ever HaYarden, TransJordan, there were large tracts of grazing land that were ownerless, which would provide sustenance for their sheep.
In other words, raising both sheep and children was a critical component of their service to Hashem. Yet, there are priorities; there is an ikar, essential, and a tafel, secondary priority. One must give precedence to the ikar over the tafel – always. This was their mistake.
Rav Nebentzhal cites a number of situations in our daily life in which we err and focus on the tafel and ignore the ikar. First, there is the distinction between kiyum ha’mitzvah, the basic fulfillment of a mitzvah, and hiddur mitzvah, beautification, enhancement of the mitzvah. Regrettably, people go to great lengths to satisfy the precepts governing hiddur mitzvah, while simultaneously giving secondary significance to the actual fulfillment of the mitzvah. He cites a simple – but common – example. One purchases a very expensive, beautiful, filigreed silver Chanukah menorah. Great hiddur, wonderful devotion to the mitzvah. When he lights wax candles, however, instead of using pure olive oil, he indicates that the hiddur takes precedence over the essential mitzvah which emphasizes the importance of using olive oil, even though it might “tarnish” the beautiful silver menorah.
It happens all of the time. We build beautiful shuls, traveling far and wide to get ideas to enhance the architectural and esthetic beauty of the edifice. Do we show the same concern, however, in regard to the beauty of the davening, service, or the Torah classes that form the foundation of the shul? People are more concerned and become petty with the price of hiring a competent rabbi/teacher to give Torah classes, but think nothing about the price of flowers for Shavuos. The list goes on.
There are circumstances when a person’s dedication to a mitzvah should inspire him to be mevater, forego, the mitzvah. Rav Nebentzhal writes that he witnessed an episode that demonstrated how far one can go in pursuit of a mitzvah and simultaneously disregard the spirit of the mitzvah, demonstrating a lack of concern for another Jew’s feelings. He was in a shul when an individual was called up to the Torah for Maftir. Suddenly, one of the members declared that he is a chiyuv, had an obligation to fulfill, and since he had yahrzeit, he should receive Maftir. The fact that someone else had already been called up for the aliyah did not concern him at all. He could care less; he had yahrzeit. He did not mind embarrassing the person that was originally called up to the Torah or humiliating the Torah as it “waited” for the person to recite the blessing. He had yahrzeit! He forgot that the reason he had an obligation to receive an aliyah was that it serves as a nachas ruach, source of spiritual satisfaction, for the soul of the departed. What he seemed to ignore is that by hurting another Jew he certainly was not providing any satisfaction for the soul of the departed.
It is related that Horav Yisrael Salanter, z.l., once came to shul on the day of his mother’s yahrzeit prepared to lead the services in her memory – according to the Halachah. He noticed that there was another Jew in shul who had yahrzeit for his daughter. While Halachah clearly states that a yahrzeit for a mother precedes that of a child, Rav Yisrael gave the amud, relinquished his right, and told the other individual to lead the services. He saw that the unfortunate Jew was anguished over not being able to lead the services in memory of his dear daughter, so he gave him the amud. He later explained, “On the day of my mother’s yahrzeit, I will perform a chesed, act of kindness, to another Jew. This will give my mother greater satisfaction.” This is a benchmark of a gadol, Torah giant. He understood the spirit of the mitzvah, its purpose and its goal, and consequently realized that making a Jew feel good was the greatest source of satisfaction for his mother’s
This idea applies equally to Torah study. We invest so much of our time and energy in learning Torah. A person is measured by his erudition and scholastic ability. True, Torah study and erudition is all-important, but what about Yiraas Shomayim, fear of Heaven? If one gathers together a large amount of grain and forgets to add a small preservative to retard spoilage – it will all go to waste. To focus on the academic and disregard Yiraas Shomayim is to overlook the raison d’etre of Torah study, as well as the ingredient that will ensure that the Torah he studies will be internalized and be a part of him – forever.
