The Midrash recounts that Rabbi Yosi bar Chalafta was once questioned regarding what Hashem has been doing from the time that He created the world. In this purely rhetorical question, the Midrash seeks to understand the values on which Hashem places greatest emphasis. They respond that Hashem occupies Himself with zivugim, making couples, pairing off people and also material possessions. “This woman to that man, this money/material possession to that man” are the words used by Chazal. Upon consideration, Chazal seem to imply that one’s material success or lack therof is a zivug similar to finding a mate. As in matrimony, one is paired with his material possessions. By virtue of his merit, he is the beneficiary of his specific share. By the same token, his virtue also causes the various forms of zivug to endure?
We find in Chazal two dictums that have no connection at first glance . Chazal say, “The zivug of a person is as difficult as the splitting of the Red Sea.” Simply put, creating a harmonious marriage between two unrelated people is an incredible feat–as miraculous as Krias Yam Suf, splitting of the Red Sea. Elsewhere, Chazal say that earning a parnassah, livelihood, is also as difficult as the splitting of the Red Sea. It would seem that Chazal are telling us that earning a living is not as “simple” as some might think.
With the words of the original Midrash in mind, that a livelihood is also a form of zivug, we might suggest a different approach towards understanding the common difficulty. The first postulate is that nothing is difficult for Hashem. The idea is that difficulty is in our own perception, according to our limited faculties. Conversely, some occurrences/situations seem simple in our finite perception, but in reality are not. Let us examine the three areas of focus. By any standard, Krias Yam Suf is a miracle. The human mind cannot perceive or conjure any logic to explain how the Red Sea could be split other than accepting it as a miraculous occurrence. When it comes to shidduchim, matrimony and parnassah, livelihood, many of us are foolish enough to believe that we have contributed to the product. The concept of “being in the right place at the right time” is blasphemous! No one is in the right place at the right time unless Hashem has designated it. We are, regrettably, wrapped up in ourselves. As a result, we do not see beyond our own imperiousness. We think that we have worked hard, “we have invested well”, we have made the right connections”, and, consequently, we have succeeded financially. Similarly, we knew someone who was well-connected, who was able to help us in our quest for a mate. Chazal are telling us that life is not one-dimensional. Everything comes from Hashem, Who deems it to be so. He determines who will find her mate, earn his livelihood–when, how, and under what circumstances. Perhaps if we would learn to accept this fact, we might address our supplication to the appropriate source.
