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ויגש אליו יהודה ויאמר בי אדנ-י

Then Yehuda approached him and said, “If you please, my lord.” (44:18)

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The Jewish people are called Yehudim, from Yehudah’s name. What is so special about his name that earned this distinction? The goal of a Jew is to realize that everything which occurs in his life emanates from Hashem. Even when he finds himself in the worst predicament of his life, he acknowledges his life force: Hashem. He sees Hashem’s light amid the darkness that engulfs him. The Sefas Emes explains Yehudah’s statement to Yosef, Bee Adonee, literally, “Within me is my Master.” Yehudah’s name contains within it the same letters as Hashem’s Name. When Yehudah expunged whatever personal bias might have subverted him, introspecting and striving to find Hashem’s will in the entire Yosef incident, he was thus able to find the point within himself that was completely pure. This is what is meant by Bee Adonee.

No one said that life was going to be easy. The first step toward accepting life’s many challenges, however, is the realization that Hashem is the Source of all that occurs. When we accept this verity, we are on the way to uncovering the light amid the darkness.

After twenty-two years of exile and isolation, Yosef was finally reunited with his brothers. While on the surface it appears to have been a reconnection between brothers who misread and misunderstood Yosef’s actions, and who now understand their error, it is much more so. When Yosef saw Binyamin, his first reaction was to fall on his neck and weep. Rashi explains that he saw the two Batei Mikdash to be built in Binyamin’s portion of Eretz Yisrael ultimately destroyed, and Klal Yisrael being sent into exile. The Batei Mikdash were yet a long way from being built, and he was already crying about their destruction?

The Sefas Emes explains that Yosef’s actions were the key to the destruction. During the confrontation between Yosef and his brothers, leading up to the final confrontation between Yosef and Yehudah, Yosef maintained his cool composure, despite observing the distress of his brothers. As mentioned earlier, the goal of Creation is to believe be’emunah shleimah, with perfect, unmitigated belief in Hashem, even at such times when His Presence is enshrouded. Yosef and his brothers were each in deep anguish: they, because of the sudden stark realization that they had erred; and he, because he had suffered for twenty-two years and he wanted it all to end. They were so close – but yet so far. Had Yosef and his brothers endured the anguish until the very last moment, their descendants would not have gone into exile. The Bais Hamikdash, in all its glory, would have remained intact. In their merit, the foundation for a complete revelation of the Shechinah to their children would have been laid. They could not, however, hold back. They had reached their limit. Yosef revealed himself, ending the mechiras Yosef, sale of Yosef, with all of its adverse ramifications – prematurely. It was then that Yosef sensed the impending doom, the destruction of the Batei Mikdash – and he wept profusely. That miniscule lack of perfection (which essentially prevented the complete revelation of Hashem’s hand in the entire debacle) was left for Klal Yisrael, throughout the ensuing generations, to work on. It is our function to uncover the Divine hand, the Heavenly light within the darkness, so that there will finally be an end to our tzaros.

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